In this way, narcissistic parents don’t support a healthy sense of self-esteem in their children. They would like their child’s successes to reflect on them and attract attention to them, but at the same time, they do not want to be overshadowed by their kids. Another problem with narcissistic parents is that, while they may seem to support their children’s accomplishments, they often feel competitive with their children. This attitude is hardly selfless and often has nasty consequences. I really love lording it over the other moms.” While it’s rare for narcissistic parents to reveal this of themselves, their investment in their child’s success is apparent to most people around them. When Alex finally got it out of her, Claire confessed, “I like it too much when you win. All the while, she tried to downplay and deny her deep investment in her daughter’s success. When Alex made a small mistake and was eliminated in round one, Claire made a scene and plotted ways to protest the loss. Used to seeing her daughter victorious, Claire made snide comments to fellow parents and made sure to let the judges know whose mom she was. A recent episode of NBC’s highly popular “Modern Family” illustrated this when housewife, Claire, took her teenage daughter, Alex, to an academic decathlon. Though the process is somewhat unconscious, they seek out ways to live through their child. Narcissistic parents feed their own ego through the achievements of their children. Parents who seem to be offering their kids something by immersing themselves in their children’s interests, activities, and accomplishments, are often taking more than they are giving. How Narcissistic Parents Live Through Their Children Remember the very first scene of “Mad Men,” in which a typical 1960s housewife scolds her child – not for the plastic bag she’s fixed around her head, but for the dry-cleaned dress the bag had contained that must be lying on the floor somewhere? While their parents and grandparents may have suffered through a culture that viewed children as second-class citizens, the kids of today, who are being raised as the focus of their household, are not necessarily better off. True, it can be a good thing that parents are taking a more active role in their child’s development. Yet, the problem of narcissistic parents may be at an all-time high. These past few years, we’ve targeted helicopter parents and fought the “ battle hymn of the tiger mother.” We’ve worried for the televised pageantry of “toddlers” and wondered whether “attachment parenting” was right or wrong. Let’s talk about something that may hit a little closer to home and, in fact, exist in the home of many children growing up today… the problem of narcissistic parents.
But let’s consider something a little more personal that may be at the source of increased stress levels. It’s not necessarily wrong to chalk these pressures up to increased competition in college and the workplace, an ailing economy, or a culture geared toward multitasking. A study by Stress in America recently revealed that Millennials (ages 18 to 33) report the highest stress levels of any generation.
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